30 Funny Coffee Quotes That Will Brighten Your Mood

  • By: Thorsten Meyer
  • Date: February 7, 2022
  • Time to read: 5 min.


You know that feeling you get when you don’t have your morning coffee? It’s like the world is a dark place, and nothing is going right. Well, we’ve all been there at some point, and these funny coffee quotes are just what you need to brighten your mood.

30 Funny Coffee Quotes That Will Brighten Your Mood

You start reading them, and they’re hilarious. Suddenly, your mood is a little brighter, and you can face the day ahead. You might not be able to change your circumstances, but at least you can laugh at them.

Whether you’re a coffee lover or not, these quotes are sure to make you laugh. So the next time you’re feeling down, grab a cup of coffee and read through these hilarious quotes!

Coffee is like a best friend who understands you but also tells you when you’re being a jerk.

Coffee is like a best friend who understands you but also tells you when you’re being a jerk.

I’ll stop drinking coffee when they invent one that doesn’t make me want to take a nap.

I’ll stop drinking coffee when they invent one that doesn’t make me want to take a nap.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish my coffee, cross off the day from my calendar, and not worry about what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish my coffee, cross off the day from my calendar, and not worry about what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow.

Decaffeinated coffee is like having sex without the orgasm.

Decaffeinated coffee is like having sex without the orgasm.

What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.

What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.

Coffee is a language in itself. – Jackie Chan

Coffee is a language in itself. – Jackie Chan

Coffee is the best part of waking up.

Coffee is the best part of waking up.

Coffee is the only thing that keeps me going during meetings.

Coffee is the only thing that keeps me going during meetings.

I’m not a morning person unless I’ve had coffee.

I’m not a morning person unless I’ve had coffee.

I like my coffee like I like my men – strong, dark, and bitter.

I like my coffee like I like my men – strong, dark, and bitter.

Coffee first, work later.

Coffee first, work later.

Coffee keeps me going until it’s time for wine

Coffee keeps me going until it’s time for wine

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

After a cup of tea or coffee, I can write as much as six pages. It doesn’t change my ideas, but makes them more distinct and clearer.

After a cup of tea or coffee, I can write as much as six pages. It doesn’t change my ideas, but makes them more distinct and clearer.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy coffee, and that’s pretty close.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy coffee, and that’s pretty close.

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

Black as the devil. Hot as hell. Pure as an angel. Sweet as love.

Black as the devil. Hot as hell. Pure as an angel. Sweet as love.

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy coffee.

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy coffee.

If I were just a little taller, I could see paradise.

If I were just a little taller, I could see paradise.

When I wake up in the morning, my brain is so tired it doesn’t even try to speak English.

When I wake up in the morning, my brain is so tired it doesn’t even try to speak English.

Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.

Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.

I’m on a 30-day water diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days.

I’m on a 30-day water diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days.

The best way to start your day is with a cup of coffee and the worst way to start your day is without it.

The best way to start your day is with a cup of coffee and the worst way to start your day is without it.

I don’t know why people think I’m an early bird. I never get up before noon.

I don’t know why people think I’m an early bird. I never get up before noon.

My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.

My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.

I only drink coffee at breakfast and lunch, but for a snack I have green tea.

I only drink coffee at breakfast and lunch, but for a snack I have green tea.

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

Coffee is like a vampire: it sucks the life out of you.

Coffee is like a vampire: it sucks the life out of you.

I am not addicted to coffee. I am dependent on caffeine.

I am not addicted to coffee. I am dependent on caffeine.

This funny coffee quote is the perfect way to end this list of hilarious quotes. It sums up how coffee drinkers feel about the drink – it’s a necessary part of their day, and they wouldn’t want to go without it. Whether you’re a coffee lover or not, these quotes are sure to make you laugh. So the next time you’re feeling down, grab a cup of coffee and read through these hilarious quotes!

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